On the last installment Pik and Selinde were reunited with their perpetually nude, hammer wielding dwarf friend, Redorra. Redorra had tried to smash them with her war hammer and Selinde threatened to banish her to the non-existent rhealm of fairie!
Pikachu knew Selinde had no such power, and he was almost sure there was no such thing as a fairie dimension. He would have laughed but half wolves don’t have the vocal cords for it.
“Oops. I almost forgot. Pik, you can probably change back into your regular shape now.”
Redorra laughed at Pikachu when he simply stared at Selinde.“What’s wrong pointy ears? Don’t want us to see you in your skin?” Redorra howled at her insult. She was too drunk to realize she had landed in her own vomit and remained sitting in it’s puddle.
“What smells so bad around here?”
“That would be you,” Pikachu growled. He transformed back into his regular half-elven shape. He looked around and noticed that it was suddenly dark outside the tavern windows.
“Selinde, wasn’t it mid morning when we got here?”
“You’re right. Something has darkened the sky. Either that or we’ve somehow stepped into a time warp.”
“Time warp?”
“That would explain why the others don’t seem to be moving at all. If we were caught in a time spell we might be moving at accelerated rate.”
“So it’s not that they aren’t moving, just that they’re moving too slow for us to see? How interesting.” He began to walk around the room examining each motionless person. “I wonder what it looks like to them.”
“Nice bottom,” Selinde commented.
“Thanks, I mean WHAT?!”
“That’s what it looks like to me, nice.”
“Are you feeling okay, Selinde?”
“It’s possible that this temporal imbalance is affecting me somehow.” She put two fingertips to her temples. “I do feel a bit dizzy.”
Ever the gentleman Pikachu walked over to pull a chair out for her to sit down. “Thank you, Pikachu, but I think I can manage.”
“You guys bore me,” Redorra announced. She walked to a table with a view of the night sky. “Say, is that a full moon?” The change in her voice was the first sign of trouble.
Red grew to three times her normal size, sprouting a course brown fur coat. Her mouth extended into a muzzle with a thick black tongue and rows of sharp bear teeth.
Pik drew out his groan. “Seriously, Red? You forgot how to control yourself?”
An ear splitting roar was the only reply he got. Red turned full were bear and stood on her powerful hind legs with her giant head nearly touching the ceiling and claws poised for slashing.
She launched her huge form at Pik, claws reaching for the flesh of his lovely half-elven face. Large vines erupted from the ground, splintering floorboards as they rapidly snaked up Red’s limbs, entangling her and pulling her toward the floor.
“Do something, Pik! I can’t hold her forever.” Selinde cried, already sweating from the effort of holding the spell.
Pikachu transformed back into his wolf hybrid form just as Red ripped through Selinde’s vines.
The two slammed into each other. Pik could only put up so much resistance to Red’s immense strength. Her gnashing teeth were coming way too close to his throat. Pik thought he could reach his knife, but he wasn’t in the mood to kill another former ally.
Just as he was sure he was at death’s door, an invisible force knocked Red off him.
“Don’t be killing yourselves, now,” said a cold, female voice. “You three each have something I need. And I need it while you’re alive.”
Druid & Thief Conquer the World is the fictional version of what life would totally be like if Mary Beecroft and Julie Bruce were magical beings living in the middle ages.
