Shower Saga

I think I had enough sink baths this past week to last me a lifetime.  My charming apartment in downtown Savannah, while being only a block away from Forsyth, is not however without it’s its own set of inconveniences.  I felt like I had stepped back in time.

Tuesday

Upon waking last I was quite distressed to find that my shower head had basically stopped working.  Only a few tiny drops of water came from the shower head even when I turned it on full balst.  I guess my brain was still addled with sleep because I didn’t even think to try the other shower in the room empty room that would eventually house my roomate.

I had designated that shower as her space and therefore had not ventured into the room or attached bathroom at all.  I would later come to regret that.  The sink bath was a hopeless failture that left me with more water on the floor than anything and a film of itchy soap that stuck to my skin all day.  I was also fifteen minutes late to work that day.

That night I tried Debbie’s shower and all I can say is that I hope she doesn’t read this.  It was worse than the drip in my shower or the sink back.  First of all the clawfoot tub which she had considered an essential part of her perfect idea of a bathroom, was totally ineffective.

It was covered in black grime because no one had use it in at least two months and no one had bothered to clean it before we moved in.  My first order of business was to scrub it with bleach.  I think reluctantly stepped into the tub preparing to give my next door neighbor, if they were looking, an exclusive view of m y naked body.  Who puts a window in the shower anyway?  Perverts!  I had nothing with which to cover the tiny window and by this time I was beyond caring.

Luckily steam clouded the window over after a second.  But the absence of a shower curtain caused a flood of water to spill over the tub onto the floor every time I flipped my hair.  Also, I noticed that the water wasn’t draining and after a few minutes I was standing in ankle deep soapy water.

The shower head itself was much like the one I’d had.  It looked equally ancient and just hung straight down like an overcooked noodle.  I had to hold the shower head up above me with one hand while the other hand was busy trying to lather myself upand achieve some small level of cleanliness before the tub filled up completely!

One bright spot was that eventually the steam fogged up my window/peep hole and I don’t think anyone could see in it after a few minutes.  I finished my business as quickly as anyone could finish showering while also having to do a backbend in order to stay under the water flow.

My wonderful man decided to come over and be my shower hero by providing me with an extra head he wasn’t using.  He installed the new device in about five minutes and it seemed like it would be the answer to my troubles.

Wednesday

WRONG!  I stepped into the shower that morning full of hope but it didn’t last for long!  After being stabbled with needle like fingers of hard water, I tried to turn the head for a better angle.  The new head shot forward and fell to floor.  At the same time a lazer beam of water came forth and nearly pinned me against the shower wall.   This happned just after I had finished soaping my entire body and was covered in vanilla yogurt bodywash.

I did some quick shower acrobatics and tried to divert a small trick from the beam onto my soapy body.  I again didn’t feel properly rinsed and itched all day long.

That night I had no choice but to go with the tub again as I didn’t want to be assaulted by my shower.  The first step was to either step into the old water from my previous shower, which had failed to drain, or do another sink bath.  I chose a 3rd option.  I got my tea pitcher and bailed out all the old water until it was at a tolerable level for me to stand in.

I again did my tub back back bend for length of time it took me to wash.  I was very careful not to touch or try to move the shower head too much, scared that it too would shoot off and opp me in the face. 

I lived like this for another two days until my boyfriend again came over with another shower head from Home Depot.  I was finally able to shave my legs on Friday for the first time all week and I have survived three entire days with no incident.