In order to conquer Jeopardy, or at least to win at the couch version that I play with my boyfriend every night, I have decided to try an experiment. There is almost always a literature or author category and I am frequently appalled at the amount of knowledge I have not retained from my high school reading list. I feel like you need to be reasonably well read if you’re going to call yourself an “author.” I decided to reacquaint myself with the classics in order to improve my chances as a future couch champion.
I stupidly decided to start with Thoreau’s “Walden.” It had an attractive cover and was only six bucks! I had a vague idea of what it was about and I thought it might appeal to the part of me that enjoys philosophy. At first I promised myself I wouldn’t read the next installment in my favorite paranormal romance series before completing “Walden.” I didn’t get very far with this. It’s not that “Walden” is written poorly, just that absolutely NOTHING happens.
As a writer I’m always trying to think of ways to create conflict for my characters. There is no conflict in this book aside from the trouble it caused me while trying to stay awake reading it. Incidentally I think i found the cure for insomnia. If you’re have trouble sleeping this $6 investment has no side effects and is infinitely cheaper than prescription drugs. Seriously, I believe at one point I woke myself up when the book fell from my hands and hit me in the face. The book is mostly internal dialogue, which I’ve always been told should be limited, due to the “show don’t tell,” rule. But some pages don’t even contain the endless self appreciating drivel and are merely lists of items and how much they cost.
I did at least achieve my goal as there was a question just this week on Jeopardy which Henry David Thoreau was the answer! So thanks for that, Henry, but your novel was really dull.
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”- Henry David Thoreau