Jelly Takes Over

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I’m sorry, where do I look?

Hello World! I’m Jelly and I got my dad to help me write a guest blog post today because well.. I’m a cat and my nails are too long for me to type good. So let me tell you a little about myself.

I’m officially two years old this month! For the first few weeks of my life mom hid me under the house to keep me safe. Except that one time when there was a big rain storm and she had moved me to an uncomfortable spot behind the backyard grill where I nearly drowned. I was crying because the banana tree wasn’t keeping me dry and then a giant hairless cat grabbed me! She moved me to the garage and tried to dry me off. My eyes weren’t open yet and she smelled weird so I was really scared. When the hairless cat left my mom picked me up and moved me back to the same wet spot where she had me. My fur was all flattened and I was very small so when the male hairless cat saw me being carried by my mom, he gave me the nickname “Black Slug.”

After my encounter with the two hairless cats mom kept me hidden under the house. It was just the two of us because she didn’t give me any brothers or sisters. One day the sun was shining and I was finally big enough that mom decided to take me out. I was still learning to walk but my eyes were open and I was very round from all her milk. We curled up under a plant the hairless cats had just put in the ground. The female saw me first. She made a loud squawking sound like a bird and ran to go get the male. They were both excited to see me again and they took turns holding me. Mom didn’t like it but she tolerated them because they left food out for her every day.  The male named me “Jelly” because of my squishy soft middle. They were nice and gave me lots of cuddles and food. Soon after this, mom and I got to move into their house which was much  more comfortable than under house. I got to meet my uncle Magoo who was only about 6 months older than mom, and a random old lady called Poopie. She sleeps a lot and sometimes grooms the top of my head, she’s nice.

So that’s my story of how I was adopted. I think someone is doing a project downstairs I need to help with. Bye for now!

-Jelly

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Which bad habit should I start?

I’m mostly joking when I ask this question, mostly. Someday I hope to become a great storyteller and there is no denying that many famous writers also had serious drug or alcohol addictions.  At this moment the only drug I abuse is caffeine but I don’t think it will alter my perspective enough to allow me to tap into my inner writing genius.  Just for funsies, I’d like to take a look at a few notable writers with serious drug issues.

Phillip K. Dick I have seen several movies based on his works but the first novel I read was “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” This is one of those books that makes you wonder what kind of mind came up with this, and the answer to that question is, a mind altered by mescaline, LSD, PCP, etc. I’m sure the man had a great imagination without the drugs, by the reality altering effects of them certainly contributed.

Hunter S. Thompson A man known just as well for his fiendish drug use as his writing. According to the biography written by E. Jean Carroll his daily routine consisted of cocaine use, multiple glasses of scotch whiskey, cigarettes, weed, writing beginning at midnight followed by more cocaine, whiskey and other drugs throughout the night. I can’t believe he lived to be 68.

Stephen King was also a cocaine addict.  I don’t care for him but can’t deny he’s the name that everyone thinks of when considering the “horror” genre.  According to wikipedia he has 55 published novels and 200 short stories, and a bunch of really terrible movies based on his books with the exception of “The Shining” and “Carrie.” So yeah, for cocaine?

William S. Burroughs speaks candidly about heroine use in a 1977 interview. Interview . He admits that his experience with drugs helped him write “Junkie” as well as “Naked Lunch” and he hasn’t seen any negative health effects from the use but he does admit that he didn’t bathe much and as of the date of the interview was no longer addicted.

All this shows me is how difficult it really is to write a good story, which is something I already knew. My own methods of getting the creative juices flowing are much less interesting. They include the following:

  1. Drink a glass of beet juice
  2. Go for a jog
  3. Watch any episode of Doctor Who
  4. Have coffee with my favorite writer buddy and brainstorm