Druid and Thief Conquer the World (4)

Selinde awoke to the sound of arguing. She could make out Pikachu’s voice and a female voice that she hadn’t heard for many years. “It can’t be!” That grating know-it-all tone, it could be only one woman.

I thought that bitch was dead. Selinde’s robe slipped from her as she stood and stalked into the other room in all her naked glory. “How did you get past my words, skank!”

“You indecent harlot, you can’t talk to a High Priestess in that manner!”

“I don’t plan to do any talking at all!” Selinde’s body melted and reformed itself into the shape of a snarling Direwolf.

In her wolf form Selinde was quite a foreboding sight, larger than any natural wolf with a blood red pelt. Pikachu wondered if he should perhaps reconsider his romantic goals. Maybe I shouldn’t be in love with a bird that can eat me?

The Direwolf’s enormous form took up most of the tiny living room. It advanced, jaws snapping at Galatea. The pinched face priestess regarded Selinde with utter disdain and threw up a light shield in front of herself.

Selinde howled and leapt at Galatea,  jaws open wide knocking the priestess to the floor and landing hard on her chest.

“Don’t make me do this, Selinde!” Pikachu was holding his Rod of Obedience and pointing it in her direction.

Selinde’s black lips curled up in a snarl.

Pikachu peed a little. “Okay, I had good intentions, Galatea. I want you to remember that. but I’d rather not risk getting eaten by my best friend. Sorry. You’re on your own.”

Pikachu set down the rod and backed up. “You always were a useless lout, Pikachu. How you survived this long, I’ll never know.” Galatea spat. Then she returned her hateful gaze to Selinde. “But you! You’re the one who pushed me off a ship and left me to drown!”

“We were fighting a horde of fish zombies! You got in  the way of her attack and by the time it was over our ship had gone too far,” Pikachu reminded, when he realized Selinde couldn’t defend herself in wolf form.

“I went to hell and back!” Galatea cried. “And I just so happened to bring some of those fish zombies back with me to finish what they started!”

Galatea snapped her fingers. In a cloud of smoke appeared five decaying man-fish hybrid zombies thingys.

“Ah bollocks,” said Pikachu, before transforming into a wolf hybrid and crossing the room to join his companion in the fight.

 

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Druid & Thief Conquer the World (3)

On our last adventure, Pikachu had given himself a nasty burn when he dove into the fire and dry humped a log!

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“I think I’ll just go to bed now.” Pikachu slunk off to the nearest bedroom which wasn’t much bigger than a closet. He’d only been alone with his shame for a few minutes when he heard a soft knock.

“Can I come in?”

“I guess,” he said sullenly.

Selinde sat down on the bed beside him. “What did you think you were doing just then? You know you have some nasty burns now. I’ll see what I can do.” Selinde spoke a word in druidic and placed her hands on the crispiest part of Pikachu’s skin. The wounds knitted together before his eyes.

“Thank you, but you really shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s no… big… deal…”  Selinde fell forward and her head landed in Pikachu’s lap face down in his crotch.

“Ah!” He quickly grew a raging erection and gently rolled Selinde over to the side of the bed where she began to snore softly.

“I guess I should try and sleep.” Pickachu was exhausted but too aroused by the nearness of Selinde’s body to his. He almost jumped out of the bed when something touched the small of his back. He looked behind him to see Selinde slowly raising her knees to her chin and then kicking both her legs back down in one forceful motion. She did this many times in a row.

Having traveled with her for many years, he was well attuned to her bizarre sleeping habits. At least this time she wasn’t strutting around the room, clucking like a chicken. He wondered if it were a druid thing.

Pikachu moved himself to the front room and tried to fall asleep.

Before he drifted off, someone knocked on the door.

“Bugger off!” he called to them.

The knocking persisted.

“Oy! Don’t you know what time it is?”

The door crashed open and in walked an angry woman carrying a bag of scrolls.

The blood drained out of Pikachu when he got a look at her face.

“I- I…. Thought you were dead!” he stammered.

“Where’s Selinde?!” cried Galatea. “I won’t forgive her for what she did to me!”

To be continued!

Druid & Thief is a product of the union of Logan Grey and Mary Beecroft.

https://marybeecroft.wordpress.com/

Druid & Thief Conquer the World (2)

fire

Please reference the first entry to Druid & Thief Conquer the World before reading part two. Pikachu had just suggested the pair visit the town of Moldy Bottoms.

Selinde indulged herself in a jaw cracking yawn before answering. “I’m guessing you want more opportunities to practice your purse snatching?”

“Well, I mean there are other things we could do in the town. Maybe a tavern or..”

“I’m kidding! I don’t care what you do, just remember my invisibility wand only has one more charge.”

They walked back to the cabin and Selinde was entertained by Pikachu’s lack of skill with the bow drill. When he wasn’t paying attention she daintily flicked her wrist and a spark appeared to his delight.

I’ll let  him have that one. “Your woodcraft is improving. I’m impressed!”

Soon they had a roaring fire and if not for the rumbling in her stomach Selinde would have been fast asleep. “Too bad we didn’t have a chance to hunt. I would die for a nice rabbit stew.”

“I found these! Mushrooms have protein, right?” Pikachu handed Selinde a strange purple mushrooms with a pink spotted cap.

“I haven’t had much training in herb lore but this doesn’t look like any mushroom I’ve ever seen.” She quickly conducted a detect poison spell to see if they were safe. “I don’t know about their nutritional value, but at least they won’t kill us.” She popped a couple in her mouth and was surprised by their sweet taste. “These are actually quite good.”

The mushrooms turned out to have a strange addictive quality and both Selinde and Pikachu ate two fistfuls each. It wasn’t long before both of them were flat on their backs in the cabin staring up at the ceiling into space.

“Pikachu, I feel so strange,” Selinde whisered. “It’s like my entire body is on fire from my toes to the top of my head.” She rolled on her side to look at him. His eyes were so bright blue they seemed to glow. Had they always been so captivating. Must be the elf in him.

Pikachu also felt strange. “Selinde,” he whispered. “Where are you?” His vision  had clouded with twirling, pulsing light.

“I’m here, Pikachu. I’m waiting for you.”

She stood on the other side of the fire, her skin aglow in its golden reflection. Her eyes sparkled like emeralds.

“I’ve been waiting for you for so long,” she breathed.

Pikachus stomach dropped.”Whhaaaaaaaatt???” he croaked.

She stretched out her arms to him. ”Come to me.”

Without thinking, he leapt at her, but landed in the fire. But even third degree burns couldn’t stop the throbbing passion he felt surging beneath his trousers. After putting out the actual fire on him, he turned his inner fire to her.

“Selinde,” he moaned, while caressing her skin. It was rougher than he thought it would be, like bark.

“Enough stalling, Pik. I want you.” She went to undo his trousers.

“I just, um, I mean I might not be as big as…” he cringed as he tried to warn her about the abysmal size of his penis. Sex had evaded him too many times because of it. The women just simply couldn’t seem to continue while laughing so hard.

“What do you mean, Pik? You’re huge!”

Pikachu looked down to see he had grown exponentially.. was it some kind of magic?

He went at her with the full of his  passion.

“Pik!” her voice sounded far off. “Pik!” she said again. “Stop humping that firewood. We can’t get it wet.”

rogue

To be continued!

Druid and Thief Conquer the World is a product of the union of Logan Grey and Mary Beecroft!

https://marybeecroft.wordpress.com/

Druid & Thief Conquer the World!

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Selinde couldn’t believe she was still standing. The battle with that rogue band of deamons had pushed her magic to it’s limits. The saving grace had been their mistake in attacking an Arch Druid in the middle of a forest. Despite this advantage Selinde and her companion, Pikachu had barely made it out alive. Their hasty retreat and subsequent three mile trek to her safehouse in Aloryia had drained her physically. She leaned a shoulder on Pikachu and wondered not for the first time, what she would have done without his strength.

Pikachu had offered to carry Selinde, but her pride forced her to refuse. In the last three years, however, there had been a few times when she did not refuse him. They had fought many battles together, some of which they shouldn’t have survived. When Selinde was younger she had once bemoaned being the only druid left alive but she now realized that Pikachu was worth a hundred dusty old druids.

“I can set a ward for tonight, it should hold until I have my strength back. Can you make a fire?”

Pikachu’s fire making skills were shite, but he agreed. While Selinde was off doing her magic mumbo jumbo, Pikachu looked around for some wood. ‘Maybe tonight’s the night, he thought. The night Selinde would finally realize her undying love for him.

Boom! Bang! Powee! Suddenly the trees around them come crashing down.

Selinde throws up a forcefield around the two of them just in time to save the pair from being flattened by a falling tree. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, you?”

“Yes, but if anymore trees fall over I’m not sure I have the strength of shield us. What the hell could have caused that?”

The pair of them looked up to see the tree limbs above were awash in a dazzling rainbow of swirling colors.  The beings that generated the color were too small to see from so high up but the energy they generated was just as dazzling, as it was dangerous.

“Wood nymphs! It must be their mating season,” Selinde guessed.

“I’ve never seen so many of them. It’s beautiful.”

“It’s amazing that something so small can be powerful enough to uproot trees.”

“Hey!” Pickachu called. “Can you guys calm down up there? You almost killed us!”

Selinde was unable to hide the awe in her voice,“You speak Wood Nymph?”

“No, but it looks like they got the message.”

The wood nymphs quieted down. Pikachu wondered why they would want to knock over trees so they could mate, but then realized he actually didn’t care that much. He was sick of wandering around in these damn woods. The less trees the better. “Selinde, there’s a sign up ahead. Says the town of Moldy Bottom is 3 miles away. Should we go to it?”

rogue

 

To be continued!

Druid and Thief Conquer the World is an effort born from love and also boredom on the part of Logan Grey and Mary Beecroft.

https://marybeecroft.wordpress.com/

Restraint

“How are you today, Charles?”

Mr. Kozloski asked in a voice reserved for addressing 8 year olds. He always spoke in a measured rhythm and took a very long time to say nothing. He knew I was shitting in my pants for the simple fact that I’d been called into his office.

“I’m fine, sir. Thank you for asking.”

He nodded his head accepting my humble response as appropriate. “Do you happen to know why you’re here?”

That patronizing tone of voice was maddening. I’d rather listen to someone grind their teeth together than hear him make another speech. He is working up to firing me but instead of just saying that he will probably take an hour to describe his reasoning behind the decision. My boss loved the sound of his own voice.

“I guess it’s getting close to the time for my annual review, sir. So I thought you might want to talk about that.” I knew he didn’t want to talk about that.

He paused, leaned back in his chair and pondered my response. Again, he took his time answering. I was almost ready to walk out and quit. Being a lowly security guard with my twenty-five years experience as a Detective for Chatham County was insulting enough already, I didn’t need this drama.

“You’re right in a way, Charles. I do want to talk about your performance but it will be a short conversation I’m afraid. No breaking out the rubric this time.”

I couldn’t say anything. I was equal parts rage and fear. I wanted to reach across the desk wrap my hands around this skinny punks neck and squeeze until his windpipe cracked just so he could never say the word “rubric” again! I was eleven years his senior and I had work experience that was relevant. Mr. Kozloski had no work experience prior to the the Gender Flu riots.  If half the country hadn’t died from the virus and the other half gone to complete shit, this man would have been lucky to find employment as a coffee shop barista.

“So no annual increase then?” Of course I already knew the answer.

Kozloski had the hubris to laugh. “Actually Charles I’m afraid I have to inform you that today is your last day of employment with S.A.F.E. There have been two many violations of company policy and I can no longer overlook them.”

“Do you mean because I was late a couple of times?”

Kozloski gave me a look. “It was more than a couple of times, Charles.” He opened a folder that contained printed photos of me entering the building. They were time stamped. “I have the photos to prove you were late 3 times in the last six months alone. I’m afraid we can’t over look this any longer.”

My palms began to sweat. “Mr. Kozloski, it’s just that I ran out of fuel credits a few times toward the end of the month and I had to walk from 52nd street to the compound. It’s quite a hike.”

“Did you try calling a cab any of those times?”

“No, sir, I simply can’t afford a luxury like that.”

“I see, so you want us to violate procedure by not having appropriate coverage at the compound and risk the safety of our females because you can’t manage your finances properly?”

I wanted to punch him until his face caved in. I imagined the satisfying sound of his pointy little beak crumpling under the weight of my fist. I was fifty-five but I kept in shape. I held my anger in check because I would never work again if S.A.F.E decided to give me a bad reference.

I stood and thanked Mr. Kozloski for giving the opportunity to worth with him. I nearly gagged on the words but I said them because they had to be said. He wished me look and shook my wet palm. He made a face when the moisture from my sweaty palm soaked into his precious callous free hand. The man had likely never held a gun in his life but held the title of “Head of Security.”

“Before I go Mr. Kozloski I’d like to ask if you’ll be able to give me a favorable recommendation if a future employer calls?”

The skin on his hairless cheeks gathered into a smile.

I doubt he even needs to shave, the twat!

“Of course I’ll give you a good reference, Charles,” he said in a sarcastic voice that let me know in perfectly clear terms that he had no intention of doing that.

“Thank you, Sir,” I said and managed to leave without punching a hole through Mr. Kozloski or his office door on my way out.

The Beginning of the End

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“Doogie” Kayla points at a Golden Retriever playing frisbee with it’s owner in the distance. She is at the stage in life where everything is fascinating and she wants to touch it all. As the dog leaps into the air to catch his prize Kayla sways on her unsure toddler legs and attempts to trot off in it’s direction.

“My turn?” Dorian asks his wife.

“Go for it,” she says. Her smile is warm and full of pride in her little girls accomplishments, even though they are small. Amelia has big plans for the miniature version of herself.

Kayla doesn’t get two steps beyond their picnic blanket before her daddy scoops up his chubby daughter and swings her around in a circle. Delighted giggles fill the air as he carries Kayla upside down back to her mothers waiting arms.

Kayla very much likes going upside down. Her pale blonde hair continues to stand straight up even after Dorian puts her down. She is smiling and flashing a mouth full of gums except for the two front teeth on the bottom that were the only to come in so far.

We he looks at her, Dorian imagines future summer days in Forsyth Park pushing her in the swings. He pictures himself and Amelia cheering in the stands as Kayla plays in her first softball game. He plans to arrive early to get a good view of the stage for her first school play. There are so many things he’s looking forward to in the years to come and reaches out to Amelia and squeezes her hand in silent thanks. She has given him this beautiful give.

Amelia’s contented smile transforms as a coughing fit overtakes her. She has been doing that a lot lately.

“Are you okay?” He asks with real concern. It’s not allergies or a cold and Dorian feels the tiniest ball of dread begin to form in his stomach.

Amelia attempts to say something and waves off his concern. She is unable to form the words because she can’t stop the body racking cough long enough to utter them. The sound is deep and wet with congestion from the bottom of her lungs. She released his hand to retrieve a paper towel and place it over her face to prevent the spreading of germs.  When she brings the towel away from her face there are a few coffee colored drops left behind. She notices him noticing and quickly crumples up the evidence.

“I’m fine!” she says.

 

So Much Blood

“So much blood for such a small cut.”

Seaver stood above her with his knife at the ready. It had been a great disappointment that she didn’t fight back. In fact, it made him want to beat her more. She struggled to stand and had made it to her hands and knees when he delivered a swift kick to her middle.

She grunted as all her air was forced from her chest and her body crumpled. She lay on the floor and didn’t move for a long time.  Only the slow rise and fall of her chest proved she was still alive. He surveyed his handiwork.

“Why do you make me do this, Selena?” He crouched down and grabbed a handful of black hair and yanked her head back so she was forced to look at him. Her eyes opened and rolled back in her head like a terrified animal. So much white.

“Don’t you dare pass out on me!” he growled. “Remember that your only purpose in life is to bear my children and you don’t need the use of all your limbs to do that.”

“I’ll try.” she whispered.

“I’m sorry, what was that, Selena?”

“I can do better.”

“You can do better… what?”

“M-master.”

“Finally.” Seaver entangled his hand from her hair and let her head drop. He wiped the blood on his jeans and cursed at the instant stain. “Look what you made me do!”

He balled his fist intent on knocking a few of her teeth down her throat. She didn’t need all of them.

Selena looked up at him with heavily lidded eyes and raised a hand to try and fend off his blow. Her entire body trembled in anticipation of his pounding and his dick grew rock hard looking into her helpless pleading eyes.

“You like beatin’ on ladies, eh? Is that how you get yer jollies ya bastard!”

Seaver whipped around knife in hand. As expected, Agent Shaunessy was the source of the interruption. He was Selena’s guardian but they both knew he didn’t have the authority to intervene.

“Come on, then,” Seaver taunted him.

The man’s face was red to match his flame colored hair. A prominent vein stood out on his for-head announcing his level of fury. He looked like a vanilla version of the Incredible Hulk.

Seaver knew as a client, he was within his rights to handle Selena any way he liked as long as it didn’t interfere with her ability to get pregnant and Agent Shaunessy knew this as well. Seaver threw the knife overhead and it  whipped past the agents head to imbed itself in the wall behind. Agent Shaunessy didn’t bat an eyelash.

“Alright. You’ve had your go fella, now it’s my turn.”

The man was by far the biggest agent Seaver had ever seen and he moved with astonishing speed. Before he had the opportunity to react, the walking wall of a man rammed his shoulder into Seaver’s gut with his full weight behind it. He wrapped his gorilla arms around Seaver’s waist and he landed flat on his back with 300 plus pounds of muscle on top of him.

His first thought was that it hurt to breathe and that meant he likely had at least one broken rib. His second thought was how hysterical he found this situation. Even as Agent Shaunessy set to work pounding his face into an unrecognizable mass of of purple flesh, Seaver continued to laugh. His laugh became a cough as blood streamed into his mouth from the broken ruin that had once been his nose.

“Think it’s funny do ya?” he said between blows. “You won’t be laughing long.”

Seaver turned his head to spit out a tooth and continue to chuckle in between fits of coughing.