Something to Smile About

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“She’s here again,” Shane said as he passed me carrying a plate of steaming pasta. That wasn’t good, the fact that he’d noticed me noticing her.  Then again it was hard not to notice a Golden. Shane had been gay since before Gender Flu and he even stared at her.

I peered into the dining room from the small kitchen window. She sat across from her assigned companion with her back in my direction. The low candle light from the tables cast a golden glow around her. If I believed in the existence of angels I would think she were one. The blonde hair that fell down her back made her more valuable than any other female in the room. I couldn’t see her face but she was looking down at her hands. She wasn’t happy to be at Cha Bella having dinner, or either she wasn’t happy with her companion, it was hard to tell.

The man with her was young for one of those Dating Pool freaks. He frowned at her from across the table and looked as if someone had pissed in his minestrone. If they’d sat at my table I would have pissed in it! This was the third time I’d seen them here, so that must mean she hadn’t conceived yet. Good, there is still time.

Shane sat the pasta down in front of her companion and headed back toward the kitchen.

“Didn’t she order something?” I asked him.

“She had a side salad but no entree. She said she wasn’t that hungry.” Shane moved on to the ticket window to pick up his next order. There were only two of us working the entire restaurant at a time. Times were hard and only a select group of people could afford to eat so the restaurant had more business than two waiters could handle.

That dickhead probably didn’t want to pay for her dinner. I would fix him. “Want to see something funny?” I moved over to the desert counter and opened the mini fridge to pull out a previously frozen precut piece of tiramisu.

The Chef looked up from his work and glared at me. He knew we had a limited supply of deserts on hand. The tiramisu, like many things was rationed. He shook his head and then  stirred a pot of noodles with his left hand and with his right hand he flipped the handful of tiny shrimp he had frying in the pan. Their was no Sous Chef or Assistant Chef and man was simply too busy to worry about what I did. I was thankful for this. I was also thankful for the fact that he was also responsible for the inventory.

“What are you doing with that?” He knew I was up to something and couldn’t help but smile. He needed his job too badly to do anything against regulations, but he fully supported my attempts to thwart the authority.

“Just watch.” I placed the delicate dessert on a saucer and added a swirl of whip cream and a chocolate covered espresso bean right on top. With one hand on the kitchen door called out to Shane over my shoulder, “This is going to be fun!”

 

 

 

 

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Jelly Takes Over

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I’m sorry, where do I look?

Hello World! I’m Jelly and I got my dad to help me write a guest blog post today because well.. I’m a cat and my nails are too long for me to type good. So let me tell you a little about myself.

I’m officially two years old this month! For the first few weeks of my life mom hid me under the house to keep me safe. Except that one time when there was a big rain storm and she had moved me to an uncomfortable spot behind the backyard grill where I nearly drowned. I was crying because the banana tree wasn’t keeping me dry and then a giant hairless cat grabbed me! She moved me to the garage and tried to dry me off. My eyes weren’t open yet and she smelled weird so I was really scared. When the hairless cat left my mom picked me up and moved me back to the same wet spot where she had me. My fur was all flattened and I was very small so when the male hairless cat saw me being carried by my mom, he gave me the nickname “Black Slug.”

After my encounter with the two hairless cats mom kept me hidden under the house. It was just the two of us because she didn’t give me any brothers or sisters. One day the sun was shining and I was finally big enough that mom decided to take me out. I was still learning to walk but my eyes were open and I was very round from all her milk. We curled up under a plant the hairless cats had just put in the ground. The female saw me first. She made a loud squawking sound like a bird and ran to go get the male. They were both excited to see me again and they took turns holding me. Mom didn’t like it but she tolerated them because they left food out for her every day.  The male named me “Jelly” because of my squishy soft middle. They were nice and gave me lots of cuddles and food. Soon after this, mom and I got to move into their house which was much  more comfortable than under house. I got to meet my uncle Magoo who was only about 6 months older than mom, and a random old lady called Poopie. She sleeps a lot and sometimes grooms the top of my head, she’s nice.

So that’s my story of how I was adopted. I think someone is doing a project downstairs I need to help with. Bye for now!

-Jelly

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